Fishing
by GoddessOfYingandYang
Summary: Bentley, Murray, and Sly go fishing. Master thieves aren't good at everything...


**_Disclaimer: This story was written for entertainment purposes only and is not to be sold or redistributed for financial gains by anyone but the sole owner of the Intellectual Property. The SLY COOPER franchise was produced by SUCKER PUNCH and published by the Sony Corporation of America._**

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**Oneshot**

_Fishing_

**_G*O*D*D*E*S*S*O*F*Y*I*N*G*A*N*D*Y*A*N*G_**

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Sly whistled cheerfully upon entering the kitchen were his two best pals were already starting off their day on a different note. The raccoon thief didn't bother to listen to it and instead began to pour syrup on his pancakes freshly cooked by Murray. Seating himself at the table he began to cut up the meal and eat it while watching the short turtle and brawny hippo bicker.

"Who knows what sort of bacteria is on those things!" Bentley exclaimed waving his hands around to emphasize his point.

Murray snorted, "There's no bacteria on fish Mr. Anti-germ."

"You can never be to careful." The genius's eyes widened slightly and he motioned over to the raccoon sitting at the table, "Sly could get sick, and we'd be down the only member who can actually go in and steal! If I got sick who would write the plans? If you got sick who would drive the van and come in if Sly needs backup?"

"Aw I doubt old Sly will get sick, will ya pal?" The hippo said confidently trying to get Cooper on his side since Bentley wasn't taking the bait.

"Don't get me into this." The raccoon put his hands in front of him and shook his head, "You remember what happened last time I took sides? No, you guys settle out your differences…whatever you guys are arguing about anyways."

"He wants to go fishing, and it's going to rain for goodness sakes! Who knows all the other risks of it besides that? There could be germs, bacteria, fungi…" The turtle began to ramble, but was cut off by Sly.

"Aren't they all the same thing?" The young thief asked with an arched eyebrow while crossing his arms over his chest in a questioning manner.

His brainy friend shot an irritated glare, "That's why I got a 4.0 grade point average and you didn't."

The raccoon huffed and looked offended, "I got good grades too!"

"Oh yeah because a good student is classified by how much he steals from the teacher." Bentley said in a bored tone.

"Hey, it's not my fault they left all their valuables out." The Cooper mumbled shifting in his chair to look away from the turtle a little bit.

"It was their desks Sly! You keep things on desks!" Throwing his hands up in the air again; the turtle gave a defeated sigh when his raccoon friend pretended to not have even heard him.

"We're getting off subject." Murray chuckled at his friends antics, "I want to go fishing, and I want my two best pals to come along with. Come on, we don't have another heist planned for weeks! It'll be good to get out!"

"I think we should." Cooper said just to spite Bentley for their earlier argument.

"So I should listen to a raccoon who thinks that fungi, bacteria, and germs are all the same thing?" Bentley gave a sarcastic laugh, "Call me when pigs fly."

"I'd rather throw a pig at you." Cooper muttered.

"Guys focus!" Murray yelled raising his voice so the two would actually pay attention.

"I'm not going and that's final! And Sly, you aren't going either!" The turtle warned sternly.

"What?" The raccoon's ears flattened back, "I think you should get your glasses checked, because I'm an adult and I can do whatever I want. If I want to go fishing I can. If I want to blow up a skunk hole I can. If I want to jump off a cliff I can!"

"You don't even deserve to be called an adult! Both of you!" The turtle fumed angrily, "All you two do is goof around and cause mischief! We could all be dead by now from you two!"

"So we're a couple now?" Sly rolled his eyes.

"Bentley, me and Sly are perfectly grown up." Murray defended, "If anybody is a baby, it's you."

"WHAT!" The turtle screamed eyes wide with rage.

"I'm so scared of the whittle itty bitty bacteria." Sly mocked in a child like voice snickering afterwards and high-five-ing with Murray who laughed.

"Lemme see…uh…what would uh…happen if I like lit my tail on fire…hmm…lets find out!" Bentley imitated Cooper in a dumb sounding tone.

"That doesn't even sound like me!" The raccoon locked his jaw and growled, "You are a baby, admit it! You don't want to go fishing cause you're scared."

Murray gave a smug smirk, "Wait till I post this on . Bentley is afraid of fishing newsflash." Sly busted up laughing with his hippo friend along side him.

"You're a riot." The turtle sneered, "I'm not afraid of fishing for your information."

"Prove it." Sly shot out.

"I don't have to prove anything." Bentley began to walk out of the kitchen when his friends began to cheer in harmony.

"Chicken! Chicken!" The two sang flapping their arms up and down making cawing noises.

The green turtle turned red in the face, "FINE! I warned you though, remember that!"

Both raccoon and hippo snorted.

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"Yuck! Ew!" Bentley complained irritably waving away bugs and spraying bug spray. Murray glanced over and gave a sigh.

"Would you stop fussing over the bugs? How would you like it if somebody came into your habitat and started swatting you around?" Murray asked the genius turtle hitting the space around him.

"I'm not an insect!" The turtle snarled smacking one of the small winged creatures out of the air.

"If you were." The hippo returned.

"But I'm not!" Came the frustrated reply.

"IF you were!" The van driver yelled, "And to think you call Sly stupid."

"He couldn't even get the worm on the hook." Bentley sneered.

"That's because you kept screaming like a little girl every time he tried to put the hook through its body." Murray narrowed his eyes.

Meanwhile, while the two older thieves bickered, Sly fished. The raccoon definitely found this boring but decided that maybe it could teach him patience. So, he had set up camp on the dock letting his legs dangle off the side while he leisurely held a fishing pole. The thief hadn't caught anything yet, and wasn't too happy about it.

Suddenly however, he got a nibble.

"Finally!" He whooped standing up to reel in the probably meager fish.

Though when he went to real it in, it pulled back.

The raccoon tugged harder, only for the fish to tug back twice as harsher.

"Oh, you want to play games huh?" Cooper steadied himself and yanked as hard as he could with all his strength.

Back with the arguing duo, things hadn't improved. They stood in front of one another still arguing, the much shorter turtle yelling at the top of his lungs while the hippo barley had to yell at all with his deep voice.

"You couldn't catch a cold!" Murray gave a large challenging smirk.

"I don't want to!" Bentley yelled back with his nasally voice at high pitch.

"Ugh…" The hippo let a hand cover his eyes.

Their raccoon friend was still fighting with the fish and was losing. The young ringtail was now literally battling it out with a tiny fish that was winning. His friends just a few feet away from him still bickering had no awareness of their friend's struggle.

"You are gonna be fish sticks when I'm done with you." Sly scowled whipping back the pole towards himself. Seeing as how this tactic wasn't working, he put the pole over his shoulder and began to walk forwards away from the water so he could pull the fish in.

To his utter surprise…it pulled him in.

His gang members were oblivious and still arguing who was more superior.

"This conversation is over!" Bentley began to walk away from his hippo friend.

"You're just leaving because you know you're losing." Murray stuck out his tongue.

"I'm losing, okay." The turtle rolled his eyes and kept walking towards the end of the dock. The sooner the hippo caught his fish, the sooner the turtle could go home and take a well-needed bath. He decided to let the muscular hippo think he'd won for now and pick it up later.

The short thief felt something was amiss when he didn't see his raccoon friend on the dock with his head in his hands. He knew the thief was bored out of his mind ever since they had gotten there, he wondered if the raccoon had gone off somewhere.

When Bentley glanced around, all his saw was forestry-so where could of Cooper gone?

The raccoon wouldn't dare go to the bathroom up here; Sly had too much pride to do that. There weren't any cops, Bentley had double-checked that. So where in the heck was the raccoon thief?

"Hey Murray where's Sly?" He questioned pushing up his glasses that had fallen a little.

The hippo turned around from his pole and looked at the empty spot where his friend had been sitting previously, "…That's weird…where's his pole?"

"Oh no!" Bentley screeched, "A gigantic fish ate him!" In horror, the turtle scrambled backwards towards the hippo and clung to his leg wide eyed.

The hippo raised both eyebrows, "A gigantic fish…ate him? Really?"

He shook his head and walked towards the raccoon's fishing spot.

"Don't go over there!" Bentley yelled, "What if it eats you too?"

"I'm to big for a fish to eat, I can see Sly being ate, not me though." Murray shrugged with a serious face.

"Thanks, that really helped me feel so much better! You're joking around when our friend could be dead for all we know!" The turtle whimpered clutching the hippo's leg once again.

Murray sighed and shook the petrified genius off his leg before leaning over the side of the dock, "I don't see anything…" He murmured to himself, he bent down lower and suddenly lost his balance.

"Murray! No!" The turtle yelped.

"Uh, Bentley, right here." The hippo stood waist deep in the water looking up with an amused face.

"Yes…of course…" The thief blushed and got off his outburst, "Um…do you see him?"

The purple hippo held his breath and stuck his head underneath the water. Bentley bent down over the dock scanning for the raccoon, and when he saw nothing he sat back up, only for two cold hands to touch his back. The turtle at that moment felt like a girl from one of those scary movies that Sly and Murray always watched. He sure screamed like one to.

"AH!" He screamed and jumped into the water.

Murray to his surprise began screaming to, "WHAT IS THAT?"

The thief looked up and his eyes widened his right twitching severely.

"Guys, I got pulled in the water, and into some mucky green stuff." The raccoon sighed, "Can we please go home?" The young thief was covered in complete greenness and would need at least seven baths to get all the muck out of gray pelt. The green stuff seemed too slimy and was very disgusting to even smell.

Of course only a single of his two friends heard him explain his situation.

Bentley went commando.

The thief lounged out of the water tackling the green bacteria infested intruder punching him with all his might, "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH SLY!"

"I am Sly!" The raccoon yelled back at the crazed turtle.

"Likely story!" The genius growled.

"Bentley!" Murray intervened, "It's Sly!"

"He's tricking you Murray, bacteria, germs, and fungi are always tricking people! Maybe next time you'll listen to me, you're lucky I have a can of anti germ spray…"

"Bentley no!" Cooper screamed desperately.

"Say goodnight germ!" The turtle then proceeded to empty the contents of the bottle directly into Sly's eyes.

Needless to say, they never went fishing again, and Murray never pressed the matter.


End file.
